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7.10.2009

Turning the tables on toxicity

What if this Tetrad of extending, reversing, retrieving and retiring transitions from our pervasive connectivity can put an end to toxic enterprises and governance? What if we can turn the tables on the toxicity without massive resources, well equipped armies or political power over the opponents? What if we can leverage our interdependent freedom to move the goal posts and disrupt the incumbents with new value propositions. What if we can simply:
  • exclude the exclusivity from our new inclusive arrangement
  • exploit the weaknesses of the exploitative elite with our hidden prowess
  • manipulate the ambitions of mercenary manipulators without ambitions of our own
  • deceive the predictions of deceptive hypocrites with disarming appearances
How is it possible to turn the tables on toxicity?

Exclusivity is a defense against getting rejected, abandoned or ostracized. Exclusivity puts up walls, maintains barriers and creates distance to maintain a story of superiority, advantage and privilege. Those who act exclusive have no problems with outsiders getting excluded. In their minds exclusion is inevitable, justified and merely the facts of life. Getting excluded by those who are excluded by necessity does not even put a blip on their radar screen. Those who object to getting excluded will face the facts of life sooner or later. However, being the ones to get excluded is the worst nightmare of those who practice exclusivity. It would seem their fortresses had failed and left them literally defenseless. It's inconceivable that those they exclude could give them a taste of their own medicine. Such an occurrence would change their facts of life, objective necessities and reliable forecasts for staying out of trouble.

Exploitation is a sign of hidden weakness (insecurities, vulnerabilities, inadequacies, inferiorities). Bullies can dish out abuse, but not take it from their victims, because fair fights push their hot buttons. Exploitation is designed to keep their prey on the defensive, intimidated by evidence and apprehensive about future encounters. In their minds, exploitation is justified by their victims' lack of power, control, discipline, rivalry or revenge. They depend on their prey to keep up the entanglement. Getting shown up to be their own worst enemy by those who can exploit their hidden weaknesses can only be devastating. There's no comeback possible when the rug has been pulled out from under their feet.

Manipulation reveals the designs of those overly-ambitious and under-qualified tacticians to be in control, proven right and safe from criticism. They shoot messengers who discredit their propaganda or expose their incompetence. They convince others they really are deviant, defective, or deficient so as to keep them susceptible to manipulations. In their minds, they are really relating, showing consideration, and providing value. They have no concept of being manipulative, trashing relationships, being inconsiderate or destroying value. People who see them as manipulative are clearly ungrateful, clueless or self absorbed. Getting ambushed by their own ambitions leading them astray would burst their bubble.

Deception is a necessity for two-faced hypocrites. In the midst of deceiving themselves about their dark side, they automatically dish out lies, scams and other deceptions as a coverup. They worship false idols, idealize perfection and exalt themselves for their noble aspirations. They assume humility is for those who have fallen from grace, lost their way and abandoned their aspirations. They collude with those who feed their egos and take pride in the same illusions. In their minds they are right without question, providing leadership and raising the standard for those making less of a pretense of pursuing idealism. To be exposed as a hypocrite would come as such a disgrace as to shatter their faith in their ideals and themselves.

Each of these forms of toxicity are delusional states of mind. They are self-justifying without the ability to detect their errors or to utilize discrepant feedback. They cannot stop themselves from doing more harm to others' lives or doing what they always do. They are predictable predators who are easily out-maneuvered by those not spellbound by their toxic illusions. When we can see how exclusivity, exploitation, manipulation and deception function out of necessity, we can take out the shaky ground they stand on. The potential for transformation gets realized by being more complex than these simple-minded delusions. We let this newly formed robust and resilient network to take effect on deliberate disconnects, determinations of necessity and devotions to isolation.

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