On top of the table: When we are in control and thinking we make things happen, we are dancing on the table top. We look down on people seated at the table and stand over anyone under the table. We cannot see eye to eye or allow others to be right. We are in a position to claim "winner takes all" and to overrule dissenters.
Under the table: When we are getting persecuted and thinking others make things happen, we are crouched under the table. We are playing small, telling victim stories and asking for more trouble. We cannot see eye to eye or endure other's abuse of power. We are in a position of getting kicked around, ignored or taken for granted.Seated at the table: When we are relating to other points of view and thinking we make things happen collaboratively, we are seated in a chair at the table. We are sharing power, listening without fear, and teaming up to realize results. To our way of thinking, there are many right answers and different ways to win. We are in a position to nurture, empower and validate others.
Changing positions at the table: When we've been dancing on the tabletop, it's likely we we fall below the table. Once we've fallen enough times, we learn to take a seat at the table. When we've been trafficking in self pity under the table, it's likely we will over compensate with grandiosity, arrogance and manipulation. Once we've asked to get shot down enough times, we learn to take a seat at the table.