We cannot handle the possibility of a connection when our minds are closed. We experience the connection as a threat to our composure, confidence and comprehension of our situation. We're afraid of getting blamed, wrongly accused or unfairly criticized. We've closed our minds because we're in the midst of enemies, critics or other kinds of hostile parties. We maintain a defensive posture for the sake of our self preservation. When threatened with a possible connection, we're likely to say things such as:
- I cannot be held responsible for those side effects.
- How was I supposed to know those were connected all along?
- It's never been connected and I had no reason to think things had changed.
- I didn't intend for that to happen when I was acting in good faith.
- I'm as surprised as you are that those two things are interrelated.
- You cannot prove there's a consistent connection for me to consider every time.
- The connection must be some kind of a fluke or rare occurrence.
When we're saying these things, we're thinking there better not be a connection or:
- I'm in big trouble and will get blamed for this.
- This will pull the rug out from under my feet and leave me floored.
- I'll look like a fool and lose credibility.
- My hot button will get pushed and I'll start acting out of character.
- My thinking is no longer reliable or capable of making good decisions.
- Now I'm supposed to understand every hidden connection before I do anything.
- When people hit me with this, there's no way for me to hit them back.
All this fuss occurs because our minds have been closed for good reason. When we're in the midst of friendly allies, understanding mentors and nurturing supporters, our minds naturally open. We trust we won't get blamed. We're faced with an opportunity to question the connections and learn much more than before about the complex interrelatedness of our situation.