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1.25.2008

What really matters

Something always matters to us, no matter what happens. We stick to our story in order to give structure to the vast range of possibilities. We identify with a particular sense of who we are, what we can do and why were here. We limit ourselves to experience the freedom within those constraints.

Things sometimes happen that devastate us. A traumatic incident will undermine our sense of what really matters. The ground of our existence is removed by the clear evidence that our conviction does not matter at all. Our thinking that it mattered deeply, mattered more than anything, or mattered to pursue with a passion -- gets proven wrong.

Often we feel like we're being made the fool by the betrayal of what definitely mattered to us. It appears we were bamboozled into believing something really mattered that matters very little or not at all. The joke is on us until we get the joke. Then we can joke around too and make something else matter to us for the time being. All we're really doing here is creating experiences that matter to us in one way or another.

When we no longer know for certain what really matters to us, we are on the brink of changing our fate. We can author what really matters to us as if we have the authority to create what appears in our story. When we get a feel for the process of "making something matter to us", we can mess around with it. Whatever we want to matter to us can be what really matters next.

We can create "life changing experiences" that revise our outlook, priorities and sense of what matters now. When we become convinced at a deep level that this new thing really matters, it will appear to matter deeply in our lives. Whatever appears in our world, relationships and minds will reflect that it matters to us, how much it matters right now and how it matters to us in particular.

When we play at this level, we also choose what does not matter at all, anymore or as much as we thought. We let go of the past as we adopt new things to make matter to us. We no longer assume we have to endure or tolerate what is supposed to matter, told to us that it has to matter or appears to matter to everyone else we know. It may not matter to us simply because we are free to define what matters as we choose.

It mattered to me right now to write this as if it really mattered to me. It came to my mind to say these things as a result of my choice for this to really matter for the time it took for it to come to mind, find the words to express it and write it out. Now that it's done, it doesn't matter like it did before. It still matters enough to reread it to clean up the wording and to hit the "publish" button. Then it's in the past and I'm free to the next thing to matter to me. When I wonder "if nothing really matters, what shall I make matter with this moment?" -- something comes up that seems like it matters to me for now. I act like it matters until it'd done and then it no longer matters like it did.

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