When one door closes

When one door closes, you're up against a wall. The saying that "another door opens" is not true. We're trapped in a corner. There's no where to turn when a door gets shut in your face. Or so Dorrie thought until everything changed in her life.

Dorrie got totally burned out at her job. She was thinking of quitting but did not have a better place to go. She put a lot of thought into her exit strategy in order to do the right thing. She knows she can get hot-headed and impulsive if she does not take the time to think things through clearly.

While Dorrie stuck it out at her old job, things went from bad to worse. She was getting shown more disrespect. She was out of the loop on information she needed to do her job. She was viewed with more suspicion instead of the previous trust, respect and understanding she had enjoyed. This deterioration in her working conditions gave her "all the more reason" to get out of there. In a way she was glad the door to continuing in her job was getting shut in her face. She wished another door would open soon.

As things got worse, so did Dorrie's attitude, outlook and stress level. She was in no mood to make a good impression, imagine better situations or recognize an opportunity if it came along. Her attention was devoted to her reasons for leaving, not her visions for achieving.

At first, Dorrie did not realize what she was doing to herself. What she resisted, persisted. What she was sure that she lacked -- she continued to lack for sure. What she had in mind -- showed up for her to mind very closely. She was creating her experience of being up against a wall.

Then it dawned on Dorrie: she was doing all this to herself. What showed up was a mirror of what she had in mind. Her attitude, outlook and stress level were the source of things going from bad to worse, as well as the result of the deterioration.

Dorrie started opening doors in her mind and walking through them. She tried walking through walls and that worked too. That changed her questions to wonder what she really wants, where she wants to be and how she wants to be valuable to others. Before she knew it, all that became clear in her mind. She saw herself in a great situation and felt how delightful it is to be there.

She realized she had acquired lots of mental practice with the adage: "when one door closes, another opens". She'd been through so many open doors she expected it as something that happens all the time, occurs naturally and shows up whenever anyone is ready. The perfect opportunity came along the next day. She went for it and smiles a lot nowadays.

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  1. Tom:

    These are all very interesting stories. I consider "no" a question, not a statement. So maybe when a door closes we acknowledge it and then open another door ourselves.

    I'm reading "The No Asshole Rule" now. You might enjoy it given the content of many of your posts.

  2. Ciao Valeria: Thanks for expressing your appreciation of these stories. I agree that we only make problems for ourselves when we take "no" literally. That gives me an idea for another story!

    You're wise to see how compatible my messages in this blog fit with Robert Sutton's book. There's a preview of it on the Change This site that I've read thus far.

    I've enjoyed reading your blog since David Armano called my attention to it. Thanks for all your insightful posts.