When we learn from what works, we develop a chart in our minds. We figure out what we get when we pay a price. We become smart shoppers and clever gamers. We also become keen observers of other people's conduct. With this same mental chart learned from feedback, we can see what game others are playing and what price they are paying. We can predict with surprising accuracy how they will react to getting caught in the act by inferring the kind of structure they rely on.
When control freaks, bullies or tyrants show up, those are consequences of relying on a fragile structure. Being easily embarrassed, ashamed or apologetic attracts abuse. Offering a presence of powerlessness brings on power-trippers. The price we pay for our neediness is persecution by others.When arguments, disagreements and stalemates appear, those are consequences of relying on a fortressed structure. Being bigoted, opinionated or bossy attracts people in our face and on our case. Offering a presence of control brings on opposition. The price we pay for our arrogance is intolerance from others.
When teamwork, shared responsibilities and trusting others comes about, those are consequences of relying on an open structure. Being attentive, inquisitive and patient brings about people with differences to learn about. Offering a presence of acceptance brings on diversity. The price we pay for fascination is many interesting people to explore in depth.When gratitude, generosity and reciprocity appear, those are consequences of relying on a fluid structure. Being creative, collaborative and synergistic brings about the same in return. The price we pay for non-judgmental awareness is zero.