Be as you are

"Be as you are". "Do what you do". "Be yourself". "Respect that you're doing this for good reasons". "Accept that this is a good thing at some level."

When supporting anyone through a difficult transition, it works to speak to them of not changing. All who are making themselves miserable -- are already thinking of changing. Anyone getting feedback about causing problems or neglecting their duties has a change under consideration. People who need to change are already under too much pressure to change.

What we resist, persists. What we insist on or cling to -- make us miserable. What needs fixing to our way of thinking -- fixes to make us needy. When we are afraid they won't change, we cannot let them be as they are, and our fear comes true - they refuse to change.

Giving people "permission to persist" gives them the space to change when they are ready. Giving people respect before they change -- gives them the basis to change confidently. Giving people a picture of acceptability gives them the orientation to change for their own reasons.

Be as you are.