Emotional baggage puts us in the mood to go from one extreme to another. We fruitlessly try to escape a stuck place by tormenting ourselves. We assume the middle ground between our favorite extremes is altogether boring, stagnant and deadening. Thus, we appear to avoid balance at all cost when we're burdened by our past.
Here's are a few of the typical patterns of wild oscillation induced by emotional baggage:
- Going on erratic rampages then acting extremely well behaved
- Chasing after dangerous thrills then withdrawing into extremely safe isolation
- Indulging in spending sprees then pinching pennies, returning items to the store and reusing worn out items
- Making a show of superiority to intimidate others then displaying one's insecurities to get their sympathy
When we're going from one extreme to the other, the middle ground appears to be neither enticing alternative. It's presumed to be a "no-man's land" or worse. It offers no appeal when we're in that desperate frame of mind maintained by emotional baggage. We spell relief: "EXTREME".
The middle ground appeals to us when we've obtained peace of mind. We have forgiven others and ourselves. We've accepted what happened with losing confidence in the process. We have gained self assurance, self reliance and self respect. Our emotions have settled down. We settle for the middle ground between those overly familiar extremes.
The middle ground looks different once we settle for it. It turns out it's not boring, stagnant and deadening. It's a better combination than going to either extreme. It gets better results than any act of desperation. The experiences in the middle are more satisfying and reassuring. We become a better judge of unfamiliar situations because were looking for both sides of every alternative. We get the sense we've made wise choices, good decisions and reliable estimations of consequences. We're in a very good place between those extremes.