Trusting my feelings

Back in 1986, I was thumbing through a catalog of non credit courses. One listing caught my eye and gave me a wonderful feeling. It was titled "Your Inner Teacher". I took the class and had a profoundly moving experience throughout it. In hindsight, I was making connection with my own inner teacher and getting a feeling for what it is like to have such a resource within me.

Twenty two years later, I'm still learning every day from my inner teacher. What you read in this blog is a small portion of what comes from my inner tutorials. The way I learn is different from making myself become more informed or skillful. This learning occurs naturally by exploring what I feel like learning when I feel like changing my mindt.

When I'm out of touch with my feelings, I'm thinking too much. Work with my inner teacher is canceled until I come back to my senses. When I am over-analyzing everything, I'm acting like I have no inner teacher to rely upon. I am deceiving myself and getting fooled by the world of appearances. My crap detector is not working because it's on shaky ground. This condition persists until I get back in touch with my feelings, self respect and sense of gratitude.

Thinking we don't have inner teachers to rely on is a bunch of crap. Thinking cannot prove whether we do or don't because the teacher only appears when we are not thinking. Feelings rule in the world of the inner teacher. The feelings are wonderful, comforting, reassuring and orienting. There's little doubt left that the inner teacher route is the way to go once we discover how reliable the companion feelings have become.

My inner teacher is endlessly and profoundly generous. Anything I'm wondering about comes back to me as gifts of clarity, maps, frameworks and better questions to ask. All I need to do is ponder something that's perplexing me without jumping to conclusions about it. By hanging out in suspense about what will come, I receive what was missing in my mind or outside world.

This process of wondering and getting answered comes down to how I'm feeling. If I dwell on feeling frustrated, fearful or deprived, my inner teacher shows no sign of interest in me. If I'm feeling expectant, appreciative and fascinated, she shows up with a bounty of gifts. All I have to do is stay with the feelings that bring on the flow of insights and next steps to explore. Falling in love with learning is inevitable when it feels like this and unfolds so wonderfully.

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